Salutations and hello my fine Dungeon Mastering companions, and to you players and unaffiliated readers out there as well! As we all know with the holiday season in full swing, it’s a busy time of year for everyone. And as the assault on Northrend has just begun, it’s especially busy for certain members of geekdom. Regardless, the Emporium must continue and therefore I find myself with a sadly expected hour-ish to kill within which I hope to bring you another unfulfilling time wasting read: combat encounters! [Read the rest of this entry...]

Ever had those days when it seems like nothing goes right?  Of course you have, everyone does.  They suck, but years later, they make great stories.  So, why not work it out with your DM to have an unlucky character? [Read the rest of this entry...]

The path to hell is paved with good intentions, or so they say.  So why not use that theory to make villains of much more depth than the typical “I want to rule the world” cliche.  After all, a great villain can make a campaign, while a sucky one will kill it.  So, here’s a few suggestions for noble concepts that can or will lead to disaster. [Read the rest of this entry...]

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you probably already know that I’m a huge fan of character flaws. Perfect characters are dull and uninteresting in my opinion, and flaws provide great role play opportunities. Phobias are easy to add flaws that can be a blast. Here’s a few suggestions. [Read the rest of this entry...]

So, just in case anyone in the US missed it, we have elected a new President, and a historical election it was.  Regardless of how you may feel about the new President-Elect, you have to conced the significance.  With that in mind, I figured I’d throw in some thoughts on how to have a historical transition to power in your own campaigns. [Read the rest of this entry...]

Things have been pretty rough here at The Geek Emporium, but I’m a man of my word.  I said I would reveal the winner of The Villianous Contest and that I will do!  Again, the winner receives a $50 gift card from Amazon, which can conveniently be used in our own Amazon store (but it doesn’t have to obviously).

I’d like to thank all of our entries, there was some good ones.  Part of the reason I haven’t posted was because so much of my free time had to be devoted to figuring out who the winner was.  Next time, there will definitely be a place for second and third place at least!  Some great stuff.

So, without further ado…The Winner Is… [Read the rest of this entry...]

Let’s say you want to get on your GM’s nerves.  Perhaps you’ve got a big date and need to skip out on the game early and you’re to scared to actually say so, or maybe you just don’t like your character and you want your GM to kill him/her in horrible ways.  No matter what, there could always be a time when you just want to annoy your GM.  So here’s some tips!

1.  Talk about your paladin in game

I’m not talking about the one you may be currently playing, but the one you used to play under another GM.  Make certain to talk about how awesome that paladin was, and inject a few comments about how awesome that other DM was.  Perhaps even a comment like “at least he wasn’t stingy with magical items” or “unlike some DMs, he actually understood how a paladin should fit into the world!”  This will definitely win you points with your current GM!

2.  Inject real world politics into a fantasy game

Just to be really annoying, make sure it’s the opposite of your GM’s political ideology.  If he’s a liberal, then talk about how all the liberals want is to turn the US into a socialist state.  If he’s conservative, talk about how so many conservatives are against social welfare, but fine with corporate welfare.  If he’s a moderate…well, just start quoting Ann Coulter.  That gets most anyone riled up.

3.  Read adult magazines in the middle of the game

Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler (or the appropriate versions for the ladies out there).  It doesn’t matter.  While a few GMs may want to check out the stuff themselves, the vast majority would rather you at least wait until a break to get some “quality time” with Ms October, but in the middle of a game?

4.  Text messaging

Yep.  Right in the middle of the game.  Randomly text people.  In fact, texting the DM is even more fun for you and aggrevating for them!  Now, don’t text them stuff that the other players shouldn’t know about…that makes sense and the DM may think it’s a good idea.  Nope.  Just text them that you had fish for dinner last night and it was so-so, or how you think Kate Beckinsale is HAWT!  Don’t make it important at all!

5.  Create a drinking game

Making a drinking game based on your DM’s style can be fun for you and annoying for him.  Perhaps you take a shot whenever he says “the smell of mildew is everywhere” or other favorite terms of his.  You get bonus points if you try to get a date with the couch before it’s all over.

6.  Wearing clothing incorrectly

Wear underwear on your head, then get upset whenever anyone asks you about it.

7.  Compliment the DM on how big their boobs are

Obviously, you get bonus points if your DM is a guy.

So there you have it.  Seven ways to annoy your DM.  I’m sure you guys have more, so why not share them as well!

Everyone is different.  Now that is hardly a ground breaking statement, right?  Because we’re all different, we tend to gravitate toward other certain character classes in D&D.  Me?  In 3.5 I’m a die hard warrior type…fighter mostly but barbarian is fun too.  Others I know love wizards or rogues. [Read the rest of this entry...]

On Monday, Liambic wrote a piece about power gamers and min/maxers.  He covers them pretty in depth.  However, the question often becomes, at what point does a player truly cross the line and is a power gamer?  When has a character gone beyond optimization and entered the realm of min-maxed?  Frankly, these are tricky questions, so I thought I’d offer up my own humble opinions on the issue. [Read the rest of this entry...]

Thinks have been pretty hectic with me lately, but not so hectic that I forgot about The Villainous Contest!  The Deadline for submission is Friday, October 24 so don’t delay!  Details can be found on the original thread.  Again, the prize is a $50 Amazon gift card, so don’t miss out!